Why do some people stay single their whole lives?

Marriage or long-term relationships often seem like the societal norm. However, a growing number of people choose to remain single for life. While singlehood offers independence and freedom, it may also pose challenges, especially in later years. 

A new study published in the journal Psychological Science takes a deep look at people who have stayed single their whole lives, revealing important differences in both their life satisfaction and personality traits compared to those in relationships.

The study was led by Dr. Julia Stern, a senior researcher at the University of Bremen in Germany.

Her team analyzed data from over 77,000 Europeans aged 50 and above, making it the first research of its kind to examine lifelong singles across different cultures.

Single life: More than just relationship status

The research team didn’t just look at who was currently single. They dug deeper, creating different categories: people who never lived with a partner, those who never married, and those who never had any long-term relationship.

This detailed approach revealed something fascinating – people who had never been in a serious relationship showed lower scores in extraversion, openness, and life satisfaction compared to those who were currently single but had previous relationship experience.

Cultural context matters

Your location as a single person can influence your life satisfaction. The study revealed that in countries with higher marriage rates, especially in southern Europe, single individuals tended to feel less satisfied with their lives.

This suggests that societal expectations around marriage might intensify feelings of isolation or inadequacy for singles in these regions.

Surprisingly, the level of religiosity in a country didn’t significantly impact the life satisfaction of single people. This indicates that cultural norms about relationships play a more prominent role than religious influences in shaping their well-being.

Age and gender of singles

Here’s a silver lining for older singles – the research found that they tend to be happier with their single status compared to middle-aged singles.

Women who were single also reported higher life satisfaction than single men.

Dr. Stern suggests that older singles might find more peace with their status once they’re past the age where their peers are actively starting families and getting married.

Personality differences in single people

One big question emerges: do certain personality types lead people to stay single, or does being single shape personality? The evidence points to the former.

“It’s more likely you have these selection effects: For example, people who are more extraverted are more likely to enter a relationship,” explained Dr. Stern.

However, she emphasizes that these are average effects and don’t apply to everyone – you’ll find plenty of single extroverts and partnered introverts out there.

Single people report lower life satisfaction

The study’s findings highlight significant health implications.

Research has shown that life satisfaction and personality traits like extraversion and conscientiousness strongly influence health outcomes and even mortality. Individuals with higher levels of these traits tend to experience better physical and mental health.

As people age and their reliance on support networks grows, these connections become even more critical.

Addressing the needs of older singles

Lifelong singles, who often score lower on these traits and life satisfaction, may face heightened health risks. This emphasizes the importance of addressing their specific needs to promote healthier aging and overall well-being.

“When there are differences, they might be especially important in elderly people who face more health issues and financial issues,” noted Dr. Stern. “They need more help, and the help is usually the partner.”

This research highlights the need for better support systems for single people, especially as they age. Dr. Stern advocates for developing new programs that consider personality differences and help older singles connect with like-minded individuals.

“If they have people who care for them or look out for them regularly, this might help,” said Dr. Stern.

Supporting single people

As more people choose to live single lives, society needs to adapt. This research doesn’t just highlight differences between singles and partnered individuals – it points to the urgent need for support systems that work for everyone, regardless of relationship status.

The findings call for creative solutions that go beyond the traditional family-centered approach to care and support.

Whether through community programs, social networks, or healthcare systems, we need to ensure that single individuals have access to the same level of support and care that partnered people often receive through their relationships.

This research from University of Bremen marks an important step toward understanding and addressing the unique challenges faced by lifelong singles. As our society continues to evolve, these insights could help shape more inclusive support systems that serve everyone, regardless of their relationship status.

The study is published in the journal Psychological Science.

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