Why chasing happiness makes you feel worse

Studies have explored the paradox of chasing happiness for more than a decade, showing that focusing too hard on being happy can leave people feeling deflated.

Researchers are now offering an explanation that is rooted in mental fatigue. A study led by Professor Sam Maglio from the University of Toronto Scarborough sheds new light on why our attempts at happiness can zap our willpower.

Forcing happiness drains your energy

The paradox highlights how actively striving for joy can bring about the opposite result. People imagine that more happiness means fewer problems, yet forcing a cheerful outlook can become mentally draining.

This mental drain saps the self-control needed to stick with good habits. It also increases the chances of giving in to temptations that chip away at well-being.

Constantly watching emotional ups and downs puts the spotlight on every dip in mood. This extra attention can turn small challenges into major concerns.

The additional layer of willpower required for staying upbeat can feel like juggling too many tasks at once. When these resources run low, it’s easy to slip into choices that feel good in the moment but hurt overall happiness.

Chasing happiness weakens self-control

Evidence from hundreds of participants suggests that trying to boost happiness demands serious mental energy. One test used a subtle “happiness” prompt and then measured how often people indulged in a tasty treat.

The group exposed to that cue ate more of the snack than those who weren’t prompted. This pattern suggested their self-regulation took a hit when happiness became the priority.

Chasing a pleasant emotional state can mean ignoring other tasks that require discipline. Instead of focusing on daily responsibilities, some individuals get stuck in a cycle of searching for a constant high.

This tug-of-war of chasing happiness drains mental resources needed for balanced decisions. Over time, it leads to more frustration when things don’t go as expected.

Happiness as a resource hog

Describing happiness like an unlimited commodity puts pressure on people to acquire it at any cost. When that pursuit gets tangled with personal identity, it can feel like failure if every day isn’t brimming with delight.

Emotional energy isn’t bottomless. Prioritizing joy at all times means less brainpower for resisting impulses, solving problems, or managing stress.

“Just chill. Don’t try to be super happy all the time,” said Maglio, who co-authored the research with Aekyoung Kim of the University of Sydney.

Professor Maglio emphasized the need to accept the good moments that come naturally without forcing them.

The research, supported by the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada, adds another layer to the growing evidence that happiness is tricky to micromanage. Instead of viewing it as something to stockpile, the experts suggest a more balanced outlook.

Daily life implications

Tuning in to what sparks genuine contentment often works better than hyper-focusing on each wave of emotion. Small pleasures, meaningful relationships, and mindful relaxation can boost mental health without draining your coping skills.

Allowing yourself to have ups and downs can make those bright moments feel more authentic. Avoiding a relentless hunt for positive feelings keeps self-control stronger when temptations pop up.

A little acceptance can go a long way. Studies show that being kind to yourself increases resilience, even if the day doesn’t look perfect.

People who let happiness unfold naturally often conserve enough mental power to pursue long-term goals. This steady approach pays off when unexpected challenges arise.

How to stop chasing happiness

Everyday contentment can involve enjoying simple routines, embracing supportive friends, and celebrating small wins. Searching for a blissful state at every turn might only wear you down.

Choosing meaningful activities over chasing happiness with a forced grin can strengthen self-regulation. Feeling relaxed about happiness helps you avoid falling into a mental trap.

Taking breaks from the push to be happier may free up vital energy. Stepping back lowers the emotional workload and supports a clearer perspective.

Learning to recognize that happiness can’t always be willed into existence may reduce stress. Accepting occasional low moods might improve your capacity to handle daily tasks.

Accepting ups and downs

Letting go of the idea that chasing happiness means constant joy allows room for natural mood shifts. When self-control remains intact, it’s easier to resist quick fixes that undermine well-being.

People who avoid linking their worth to constant cheer might find simpler ways to stay balanced. They may enjoy everyday experiences more when they stop policing every moment for perfection.

Ultimately, the research suggests that striving too hard for happiness can deplete the energy needed for maintaining healthy habits, leading to greater dissatisfaction over time.

Letting go of rigid expectations may help preserve emotional resources and promote a deeper sense of contentment.

The study is published in Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being.

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