Who is happier - single men or single women? You may be surprised

Remember when being single was considered a temporary pit stop on the road to happily-ever-after? Those days are fading fast. A new study has turned conventional wisdom about relationships upside down, revealing an unexpected truth: single women are thriving, while single men are struggling to find their footing in solo life.

Researchers Elaine Hoan and Professor Geoff MacDonald analyzed nearly 6,000 adults, measuring their satisfaction with life, relationships, and sexual fulfillment.

The findings suggest that men may have more to gain than women from being in a romantic relationship, while women tend to thrive in singlehood.

Pressure on men to find a partner

The study from the University of Toronto highlights how societal expectations shape men’s experiences in dating and singlehood. Hoan explains that traditional masculinity places a high value on romantic and sexual success.

“There’s the notion that to really ‘be a man,’ you must be the type that ‘gets girls’ – it’s a sign of status,” said Hoan. This expectation can make it harder for men to embrace singlehood and can lead to frustration if they struggle to find a partner.

Men typically find it more difficult to initiate relationships, which means they may feel a greater sense of isolation or unfulfillment when single.

In contrast, women do not face the same level of pressure to prove their desirability, which may allow them to enjoy their independence more fully.

Sexual fulfillment in single women

One of the most striking findings of the study is that single women report higher levels of sexual fulfillment compared to single men.

Traditional gender roles often place men’s sexual needs above women’s in relationships, meaning that single women may experience more freedom to explore their own pleasure without prioritizing a male partner’s satisfaction.

For men, singlehood often means a lack of access to sexual experiences, which can contribute to feelings of dissatisfaction.

Women, however, may have an easier time navigating their sexuality on their own terms, which could explain their higher levels of fulfillment.

Stronger social support for single women

Women also tend to have stronger social networks, which may help explain their higher levels of happiness in singlehood. Close friendships and emotional support systems provide many of the benefits that romantic relationships offer, making single life more enjoyable and less lonely.

Men, on the other hand, often rely heavily on their romantic partners for emotional connection. Without a relationship, they may find themselves with fewer outlets for support, which can lead to a decline in well-being.

The absence of strong friendships may make singlehood feel more isolating for men compared to women.

Financial independence of single women

Another key factor contributing to women’s happiness in singlehood is financial independence. Historically, marriage provided women with economic security, but today, many women are financially self-sufficient.

As a result, the practical benefits of partnership have become less of a driving force in relationship decisions.

Women no longer feel pressured to settle into relationships for financial stability, allowing them to prioritize their personal happiness. This shift gives them the freedom to enjoy singlehood without feeling like they are missing out on something essential for their well-being.

Men’s fear of singlehood

The study builds on existing research that shows men fear singlehood more than women do. Younger men, in particular, struggle with being single, though older men tend to become more content with their single status over time.

Hoan and MacDonald also explored how single men’s dissatisfaction might connect to the rise of incel communities. Incels – short for “involuntarily celibate” – are men who feel resentful toward women due to their inability to form romantic relationships.

While incels represent an extreme subset, the study suggests that broader dissatisfaction among single men could be a contributing factor to the growth of such communities.

Romantic relationships may feel less rewarding

While the study does not directly explain why romantic relationships tend to be less fulfilling for women, it supports existing research on gender roles in partnerships.

Hoan noted that in heteronormative relationships, women often take on an unequal share of domestic and emotional labor. This imbalance can make relationships feel more burdensome than beneficial, leading some women to find singlehood more rewarding.

Additionally, studies show that women’s sexual pleasure is often deprioritized in relationships, which may contribute to their higher levels of sexual fulfillment when single.

Without the constraints of an imbalanced partnership, women may experience more autonomy and personal satisfaction.

Future of relationships

Hoan and MacDonald’s findings challenge traditional narratives about relationships and happiness.

Their research suggests that singlehood is not inherently negative, especially for women, and that societal pressures on men to seek relationships may contribute to their lower levels of well-being when single.

The researchers plan to continue their work by examining how marriage and romantic relationships contribute to well-being on a global scale. As cultural attitudes toward relationships continue to evolve, their findings may help shape new perspectives on love, partnership, and personal fulfillment.

Hoan’s final message serves as an important reminder for those who feel pressured to enter a relationship. “If you want to stay single, you may be happier for it.”

The study is published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science.

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