Social media pressure is straining teen friendships

Friendships matter deeply, especially during adolescence. In today’s digital world, staying in touch through social media has become the norm. Many teens feel the need to be constantly available online.

This availability, while helpful in some ways, can become exhausting. When friends don’t reply or engage, it often leads to frustration and misunderstandings.

New research conducted by scientists in Italy has uncovered the hidden strain social media puts on teenage friendships. The team tracked how young people navigate expectations online and how those expectations impact real friendships.

Teen friendships and digital stress

“We show that adolescents’ perceptions of social media norms and perceptions of unique features of social media contribute to digital stress, which in turn increases friendship conflicts,” said Federica Angelini, a researcher at the University of Padua and first author of the study.

Angelini and her team surveyed over 1,100 teenagers aged 13 to 18. They studied how teens’ emotions shifted depending on whether friends replied, engaged, or seemed distant online.

Two key emotions stood out – feeling trapped by the need to always be available (entrapment) and feeling hurt when friends didn’t respond (disappointment).

“Disappointment from unmet expectations on social media – such as when friends do not respond or engage as expected – is a stronger predictor of friendship conflict than the pressure to be constantly available.”

Visual clues and social media

Over time, disappointment proved more damaging than entrapment. Six months after the first round of data collection, teens who felt disappointed by their friends were more likely to experience conflict.

Constant availability, surprisingly, had less impact. It may be that always being online is now just a part of teenage culture.

“Individuals feel let down by their friends’ availability or responsiveness online. This disappointment arises from unmet expectations and leads to negative emotions which can spill over into friendship conflicts,” Angelini said.

Visual content – images and videos – adds another layer. Teens often see their friends active online or socializing without them. This creates feelings of exclusion and jealousy.

“Visual content makes it easier for teens to see what their friends are doing at any given time. If teens notice that their friends are active online or spend time with others while ignoring their messages, they may feel excluded, jealous, or rejected,” Angelini explained.

“This heightened awareness can intensify negative emotions and contribute to friendship tension.”

Better boundaries for teen friendships

The findings offer a roadmap to help teens build stronger friendships. Awareness is the first step. By recognizing how online behavior affects real emotions, teens can begin to make small changes.

“Identifying key stressors, for example, visual content and availability expectations, and understanding dynamics of online interactions among friends can help educators, parents, and teens develop healthier online habits,” Angelini said.

Setting boundaries may help. Teens could try turning off notifications or agreeing on break times from social media with their friends. These steps reduce the pressure of instant replies.

“Learning to accept that not every message requires an immediate reply can ease digital stress while maintaining healthy friendships.”

Future research on teens’ online behavior

While the study provides useful insights, it has its limits. The analysis was based on teens’ own reports of their online use, which may not tell the full story. Also, the six-month timeframe might not capture long-term patterns.

“Future research could use objective measures of social media activity and extend the timeline to better understand how digital stress and friendship conflicts evolve over time,” noted Angelini.

Learning to find balance

Friendship is one of the most meaningful parts of growing up. Social media has changed how these relationships form, grow, and sometimes falter.

Understanding the emotional landscape of teen interactions online can guide better communication, deeper empathy, and more stable friendships.

This research doesn’t ask teens to step away from technology. Instead, it invites them to be more aware of their habits and reactions. When disappointment or stress rises, a small shift – like talking openly or logging off for a while – can make a big difference.

In the end, what teens need most is not constant digital presence, but consistent emotional support – on screen or off.

The study is published in the journal Frontiers in Digital Health.

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