Patience isn’t a virtue - it’s a coping strategy

Patience is often regarded as a noble virtue, but its true essence may stem from how we handle life’s relentless challenges and frustrations.

Kate Sweeny, a psychology scientist at UC Riverside, suggests that patience might be less about our moral standing and more about how we handle the everyday irritations that life throws at us.

“Philosophers and religious scholars call patience a virtue, yet most people claim to be impatient,” said Sweeny. “That made me wonder if maybe patience is less about being a good person and more about how we deal with day-to-day frustrations.”

Sweeny conducted a study that was focused on defining what encompasses patience and impatience, and the factors that contribute to them.

Interpreting patience and impatience

Impatience, according to Sweeny, is the emotion experienced when encountering delays that seem unfair, unreasonable, or inappropriate – like heavy traffic during off-peak hours or a meeting dragging on well past its scheduled time.

In contrast, patience is how individuals cope with these feelings of impatience. Psychologists often refer to “emotion regulation” as the range of strategies people use to adjust the intensity of their emotions.

In a companion theoretical paper, Sweeny emphasizes that patience represents a specific subset of these strategies, focusing on managing feelings of impatience.

The “perfect storm” for impatience

The researchers identified three scenarios that form the ideal recipe for impatience: a critical situation (like a traffic jam on the way to a favorite band’s concert), an uncomfortable waiting state (like a packed waiting room at the DMV), and when there’s an obvious person to blame for the delay (such as the lab forgetting to process your medical tests).

People felt more impatient when a delay lasted longer than expected, although the actual length of the delay did not significantly impact their feelings of impatience.

To explore these frustrations, participants were asked to imagine their reactions to everyday aggravations, such as being stuck in traffic, enduring a tedious meeting, or waiting in a crowded room.

The individuals assessed how impatient these situations would make them feel and identified strategies to temper their impatience, including distraction techniques, deep breathing exercises, or finding a silver lining in the situation.

The spectrum of patience

Interestingly, not everyone responded to these irritation-causing situations in the same way. Some were more patient than others. For instance, individuals who were more adaptable to open-ended situations and more emotionally stable displayed less impatience.

Moreover, those who had higher emotional intelligence and were better at self-regulation were also more patient, even if they initially felt impatient.

“Our initial findings support many of our ideas about patience and impatience. We have a lot still to learn, but our approach is quite promising in terms of helping people to manage feelings of impatience and ultimately become more patient in their daily lives,” noted Sweeny.

These findings present a fresh perspective on patience and impatience – not as intrinsic qualities of a person, but as responses and coping strategies we embrace when faced with the inevitable irritations of life.

Patience and personality traits

The research sheds light on how personality traits influence an individual’s ability to remain patient. People who demonstrate greater emotional stability and adaptability in uncertain situations are less likely to feel overwhelmed by impatience.

Additionally, individuals with high emotional intelligence, who excel in self-regulation and empathy, tend to manage feelings of impatience more effectively.

Traits like agreeableness also play a crucial role in encouraging patience, as such individuals often approach frustrating scenarios with a calm and understanding mindset.

These findings highlight that patience is not just situational but also deeply rooted in personal characteristics, offering a promising avenue for developing interventions to cultivate patience in daily life.

Implications for modern life

In an increasingly fast-paced world, the study’s findings have significant applications.

The ability to manage impatience effectively is crucial in both personal and professional settings. For instance, workplaces can benefit from training programs focused on emotion regulation techniques, helping employees cope with stress and maintain productivity during challenging times.

Moreover, understanding the psychology of patience can aid in conflict resolution by promoting empathy and cooperation.

On an individual level, strategies like mindfulness, reframing negative situations, and practicing gratitude can be integrated into daily routines to enhance emotional well-being and cultivate a more patient approach to life.

The full study was published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.

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