Parents who use humor have better relationships with their children 

Laughter is often called the best medicine, but according to a new study led by researchers from Pennsylvania State University, it could also serve as an effective parenting tool.

In a pilot study, the research team discovered that many people consider humor to be a valuable tool in parenting. They found that the use of humor by parents or caregivers significantly influenced the quality of their relationship with their children. 

Humor puts a positive spin on life

Most participants who experienced humor from their parents viewed their relationships and upbringing in a positive light.

“Despite the widespread use of humor in social interactions and the considerable literature on humor in multiple fields of study, the use of humor in parenting has received very little formal study. The purpose of this pilot study was to gather preliminary data on the use of humor in the raising of children,” the authors wrote.

“Humor can teach people cognitive flexibility, relieve stress, and promote creative problem solving and resilience,” noted Benjamin Levi, a professor of pediatrics and humanities at Penn State College of Medicine and the senior author of the study. 

“My father used humor, and it was very effective. I use humor in my clinical practice and with my own children. The question became, how does one constructively use humor?”

Parallel between business and parenting 

Study first author Lucy Emery was a medical student at Penn State College of Medicine during the research and is currently a pediatrics resident at Boston Children’s Hospital. 

According to Emery, there is an interesting parallel between business and parenting, which are both hierarchical. “In business, humor has been shown to help reduce hierarchies, create better environments for collaboration and creativity, and diffuse tension.”

Emery noted that while parent-child relationships are more loving than business relationships, stressful situations are common in parenting. “Humor can help diffuse that tension and hierarchy, making both parties feel better about a stressful situation.”

Humor and the joy of parenting 

This preliminary research was designed to explore how people perceive the relationship between humor, their experiences of being parented, and their experiences of parenting. 

The study aims to lay the foundation for understanding how to use humor constructively in parenting and identify situations where humor might be riskier.

The researchers surveyed 312 individuals aged 18 to 45. More than half reported being raised by caregivers who used humor, and 71.8% agreed that humor can be an effective parenting tool. 

The majority also said they either use or plan to use humor with their children and believe it has more potential benefits than drawbacks.

Humor and parent-child relationships

The study also revealed a correlation between a parent’s use of humor and how their now-adult children viewed their upbringing and their relationship with their parents. 

Among those who reported that their parents used humor, 50.5% said they had a good relationship with their parents, and 44.2% felt their parents did a good job raising them. 

Conversely, among those whose parents did not use humor, only 2.9% reported having a good relationship with their parents, and just 3.6% believed their parents had done a good job.

While it might be expected that parents would use humor with their children if they were raised by caregivers who did the same, Levi found the stark differences between the two groups surprising.

Future research directions

The research team is now expanding on this initial study by surveying a larger and more diverse group of parents, as well as gathering qualitative data based on parents’ experiences with using humor.

“My hope is that people can learn to use humor as an effective parenting tool, not only to diffuse tension but also to develop resilience and cognitive and emotional flexibility in themselves and model it for their children,” Levi said.

The study authors noted that if these findings are generalizable, they potentially open the door to a much deeper and broader exploration of how “parenting humor” functions and how it can be appropriately leveraged to enhance the experiences of both children and their parents. 

“To that end, future research should examine the ways parents currently use different kinds of humor; children’s lived experiences with such humor; and how these uses of humor map onto existing knowledge and theory about how humor functions.”

The study is published in the journal PLoS ONE.

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