Mothers carry the heaviest weight of the 'mental load'

The mental load – the invisible labor of planning, organizing, and managing family life – encompasses tasks ranging from scheduling doctor’s appointments to planning birthday parties.

This cognitive household labor can feel especially overwhelming during the holiday season, when to-do lists seem endless.

A new study highlights that mothers are bearing the lion’s share of this mental load in many households – not just during the holidays, but every single day.

Distribution of the mental load

Researchers at the University of Bath and the University of Melbourne reached these conclusions after analyzing responses from 3,000 parents in the United States.

The results shed light on how the mental load is unevenly distributed within families.

The experts found that mothers take on a significant 71% of all household tasks that require mental effort, including everything from daily activities, like meal planning and organizing schedules, to managing household finances.

Mothers, fathers, and household mental labor

When it comes down to the fine details of the mental load, it seems that mothers and fathers often undertake different tasks.

Mothers take on a whopping 79% of daily tasks, such as cleaning and childcare, which is over twice the share of dads, who manage these daily tasks at a rate of 37 percent.

Fathers appear to focus more on episodic tasks like managing finances and home repairs, taking up 65% of these tasks.

However, mothers are also involved in episodic tasks – taking on 53% of these tasks – highlighting an often overlooked duplication of effort.

Interestingly, the study illuminates that parents often overestimate their contributions, with fathers being the most likely to do so. Fathers also tend to view the household mental labor as equally shared, yet mothers would beg to differ.

Hard at work: The single parent reality

Single parents undoubtedly have the most demanding burden as they have to juggle the entire mental load. The study revealed that single fathers take on significantly more compared to married fathers.

The primary goal of the research was to understand individual parents’ perceptions of the mental load, rather than the perception shared by couples.

Due to the inclusion of parents from a wide variety of family types, including LGBTQ+ and single parents, the findings are relevant to a diverse spectrum of households.

Sharing the mental load more fairly

Dr. Ana Catalano Weeks is a political scientist in the Department of Politics, Languages & International Studies at the University of Bath. She noted that the effects of the mental load are not confined to the home.

“This kind of work is often unseen, but it matters. It can lead to stress, burnout and even impact women’s careers. In many cases, resentment can build, creating strain between couples,” said Dr. Catalano Weeks.

“We hope our research sparks conversations about sharing the mental load more fairly – something that benefits everyone.”

Mothers, who are disproportionately affected by the mental load, are feeling the pressure, with a recent Gallup study showing that working mothers are twice as likely as fathers to contemplate reducing their hours or leaving their jobs due to parental responsibilities.

“Going forward, the challenge for governments and employers who care about attracting the top talent is how to create policies that are supportive of both mothers and fathers sharing the unpaid work at home,” said Dr. Catalano Weeks.

“One policy that comes to mind is well-paid, gender-neutral parental leave – which both the U.K. and U.S. are way behind on compared to the rest of Europe.”

Reducing stress with teamwork

As the holiday season fast approaches, it’s a perfect time to discuss the disproportionate weight of the mental load.

A conversation leading to an action plan on how to share these tasks can help make the holidays – and everyday life – more seamlessly balanced, giving mothers a well-deserved break.

Small changes, like dividing tasks more equitably or setting realistic expectations, can go a long way in reducing stress and promoting teamwork. By addressing the mental load together, families can create a more supportive environment that benefits everyone.

The full study was published in the journal Journal of Marriage and Family.

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