How strong is your relationship? Test it with the Valentine’s Scale

Love is at the heart of human connection, shaping our emotional well-being and quality of life. Whether in the early stages of romance or years into a committed partnership, testing and understanding how a relationship is truly going can be challenging.

Some couples communicate openly and resolve conflicts with ease, while others struggle with misunderstandings and distance.

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, researchers at Stockholm University have introduced a new tool to help couples assess their relationship satisfaction. Their study presents a scientifically validated method to measure how satisfied partners feel in their relationship.

With just seven simple questions, this scale provides a quick yet meaningful indication of the current state of a relationship.

Why relationship satisfaction matters

Romantic relationships contribute significantly to emotional stability and mental health. A fulfilling relationship can bring happiness, reduce stress, and provide a sense of security, while unresolved issues can lead to frustration, anxiety, and even depression.

Despite this, many couples do not have an accessible way to evaluate how they feel about their relationship. Traditional methods, such as lengthy questionnaires or therapy, can be time-consuming and difficult to access.

“This scale makes it possible to quickly and efficiently get an idea of how a relationship is doing, without having to go through long and complicated interviews or questionnaires. It can even be used during couples counseling to monitor progress over time,” noted Per Carlbring, a professor of psychology at Stockholm University.

By answering seven well-structured questions, couples can gain valuable insights into their emotional closeness, trust, and ability to resolve conflicts. The scale does not just measure satisfaction; it also provides practical suggestions for strengthening the relationship based on the results.

Science behind the Valentine’s Scale

Scientific validation is crucial when developing tools to measure emotions and relationships. The Valentine’s Scale has been tested on over 1,300 participants, demonstrating a high level of reliability over time.

The results align with other well-established relationship measures, such as the Dyadic Adjustment Scale and Quality of Dyadic Relationships.

“At the same time, it can predict improvements in quality of life and contribute to a reduction in mental health problems such as anxiety and depression by quickly providing a clear picture of how the relationship is doing and thus enabling early intervention,” said Carlbring.

What sets the Valentine’s Scale apart from other assessments is its simplicity and accessibility. Many relationship tests require complex analysis or professional interpretation, but this scale provides immediate feedback and suggestions that couples can act on without additional support.

Valentines Scale: A tool for growth

Many people fear that evaluating their relationship might expose problems or lead to unnecessary stress. However, the creators of the Valentine’s Scale emphasize that the test is not designed to predict a relationship’s future. Instead, it serves as a conversation starter and a tool for self-reflection.

“Do the Valentine’s test as a step to start getting closer to each other on Valentine’s Day,” said Carlbring. He highlights the importance of approaching the results with an open mind rather than fixating on achieving a perfect score.

“If the test result raises concerns, it may be a good idea to talk about what lies behind the answers. Relationships are dynamic and affected by many factors.”

“It may be stress, communication difficulties or other life circumstances. By reflecting together, you can find ways forward, whether it’s strengthening the relationship or making other decisions.”

Encouraging honest conversations

One of the key benefits of the Valentine’s Scale is its ability to encourage honest and meaningful discussions between partners.

Often, couples avoid difficult topics for fear of conflict, but open communication is essential for a strong relationship. The test results can provide a neutral starting point for addressing concerns and understanding each other’s perspectives.

For those who find themselves facing challenges, the test can offer guidance on how to improve connection and resolve conflicts. The suggestions accompanying the results focus on everyday actions that can bring partners closer, rather than drastic changes or unrealistic expectations.

Discovering the Valentines Scale

The Valentine’s Scale is free and available online at valentinskalan.se.

It only takes a few minutes to complete, but the insights gained can have a lasting impact. Whether taken alone or together, the test serves as a valuable tool for understanding the strengths and areas for growth in a relationship.

By reflecting on the results, couples can take meaningful steps toward greater closeness, trust, and understanding. Valentine’s Day is often associated with grand gestures, but true connection comes from the small moments of care and communication that build a lasting bond.

The study is published in the journal Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.

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